Read: Genesis 50:15-21
Reflect: I reached an insurmountable obstacle in my professional life. I dreamed of this type of position since middle school. I enjoyed it, was effective in the role, and it made a difference in people’s lives. That dream ended. I recently came across old boxes from when I left that job. The contents tell the story.
WHEN I WAS CONSIDERED CAPABLE
During my first year as part of that team, the manager gushed with praise for my hard work and capability in the role. A box contains the handwritten cards and printed emails I saved. More important than the written words were the resulting emotions from those days. I felt valued. When my work made the manager look good, I was praised.
THE DARK JOURNEY
However, also contained in the boxes are proof that my assertiveness in expressing what was needed to do my job well and honestly answering questions from senior management exposed things my boss didn’t want known. Consequently, things changed. My digging led to unearthing other emails and documentation notes from another year. These detailed the journey of my manager’s accolades evolving into a growing animosity toward me.
MY FEAR
Reading these, I physically began to feel sick to my stomach as I remembered the palpable fear and trouble I felt during that time. There were threats leveled toward me, some passive and others more overt. Ultimately, the manager made sure I was pushed out by changing the requirements for the position to include a specific industry credential I didn’t have.
LEANING INTO GOD
While this manager was scheming to discredit and malign me, God grew my character and confidence. Naturally wired to insecurity, my work situation struck at the center of my personality. It was a terribly tumultuous and anxious time for me. Every day was a spiritual battle. I chose to believe I am who God says and walk in the truth of who God created me to be. The only way to endure was to lean into the Lord and God’s word in a way I never had before. Trusting that He had good plans for me even if I couldn’t see or feel them was a fierce battle because His plan didn’t look the way I thought it would or should be. I had to trust. What felt like a setback was actually a setup for something better for me.
I threw everything but the kind notes and cards away. Keeping them felt like I was making a judgment that is not mine to make. Neither that manager nor I handled things perfectly. I’m sure the manager had things happening, both in present and past, that impacted their actions.
GOD USED WHAT WAS INTENDED TO HARM FOR GOOD
That’s why the story of Joseph rings so true to me. I am able to look back and say that God used what was intended to harm me, for good to accomplish events and freedom from the fear of man I couldn’t comprehend at the time. I wouldn’t choose to go through that chapter of my life, but I wouldn’t change what I gained from it. God led me to much greater things.
GOOD PLANS FOR YOU
Apply: What situations or life experiences make you feel sick to your stomach? Have you asked God to change the lens through which you view what has happened and asked for God’s wisdom in seeing them in a new light? “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”(Jeremiah 29:11). God had good plans for Joseph, for me, and He has good plans for you. Ask for His viewpoint.
Click here to read Becky Spencer’s story of following God’s lead